Why'd you Come?
by illumineePaNdA
Summary: AU. Matthew is a typical troubled student. When he tries to end it all, someone comes by and stops him. Will they ever cross paths or will Matthew's mind be filled with his being? Warning: mentions of self-harm and suicide. Franada with more side pairings... Written by le tres bien moi, PaNdA
1. Chapter 1

_**grr... i come on here to see my fanfiction deleted yet again! im held back on time at the moment so ill upload the first chapter and put up the next chapter on my own time... **_

_**DISCLAIM:i dont own... alll rights gooooo too... hima-papa :3**_

_**WARNING: rated t (for now) for cursing and hints? subject to change to M :D**_

_**i love you guys for choosing to read this**_

_**PaNdA~**_

...

I stood on the roof of the tall office building. Looking down, my fear of heights got the better of me. In my head, this sounded so much easier. Go up, walk off, die… Right? But as I faced this near-death experience, I found it's quite harder than I anticipated. I turned around quickly, not being able to take my fears. My hands fingered my shoulder length, blonde hair.

'Just do it, Matthew! Or are you too chicken?' my mind pushed. I walked back to the edge, looked down again, and practically jumped when I heard a voice. No. Literally…

"What are you doing, mon ami?" a strong, French accented voice tore through the silence in the air and echoed in my ears. My entire body leaped upwards and fell back down on my derrière.

"O-ow…" I whimpered, but still stood up to look behind me at the voice,

There, a tall, blonde man stood, his blue eyes staring into mine. Upon his chin was a light shadow, stubble to show his age. I'd guess about thirty.

"What were you doing there? It looked as if you were about to jump," his rich, French accent took my away from my thoughts.

"I-I was…" I whispered. 'Damn you, Matthew! Man up!'

"But why? The world needs beauties like you every once and a while." The stranger took a step forward and grazed my cheek with his palm. My face felt heated and I took a step back, of course tripping and falling once again on my butt.

"I… I'm just sick of being ignored… by everyone …" I answered, only slightly honest as I turned my head away.

"Well, come, mon ami. Let us get you to your home. I'm sure your family is worried sick and going nuts wondering where you are." He offered his hand, which I eyed suspiciously. After deeming it safe, I gently placed my hand on his palm and hoisted myself up. The blonde made no move to let go so I retracted my hand from his grasp. "Tell me, where do you live?"

And so, the stranger drove me home. The entire ride we were talking about life. Mostly mine but still. It made me feel… not invisible. We chatted about my school life and my home life where I found out nothing about him. Not that it mattered, I wouldn't see him again anyway. But I still felt like life was okay.

Before I knew it, we'd arrived at my house and stopped near the driveway. I stepped out and thanked him greatly for the ride. Then, I began my ascend up the porch steps. As my hand grazed the door knob, however, a thought occurred to ask about his name and number before it was too late. But as I turned around, I realized he'd left the street and there was a void space where the car was. As quickly as he saved me, he disappeared. "Maybe it's for the best," I muttered as I turned the knob and entered my home.

The television was running and the water faucet sounded on. Upon the couch was my father and brother. Obviously my mother was in the kitchen. I thought I could sneak up to my room. Obviously not…

"Where've ya been, boy?" my dad's baritone voice resonated through the house.

"I… I was out with a couple friends. That's all…" I quietly answered.

"Yah, okay. Yer good. Now go help yer mom. She's not fairin' too well tonight."

With that, my dad turned towards the television and my brother stood up. He walked up to me and leaned into my ear.

"You weren't really with friends were you, Matt?" he asked in a low, concerned voice.

"It's none of your concern, Alfred," I whispered quietly as I headed to the kitchen to help my mom.

After my duties were finished, I went straight to my room and lied down, quite prepared for a sleepless night of restlessness.

Of course, I was slightly wrong. That night I dreamt. I dreamt of that guy that saved me. Why did he save me? What did I do to deserve a savior? These questions roamed my head without an answer. I just don't understand why he did that…

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

I startled awake to my alarm blaring at five thirty in the morning. I fumbled to shut it off, but hastily stabbed the 'snooze' button. At least I don't have to worry about waking anyone up. Alfred sleeps like the dead and my parents are on the other side of the house.

I stood up and headed for the bathroom as routine. Urinate, shower, hygiene, Alfred, repeat. Same cycle every day in my boring old life. So, I declothed, but upon looking at my meek body, my eyes widened. So many bruises and cuts. I remember getting beat up yesterday, but I was yet to inspect the damage. I had just walked straight to the office building my dad worked at and took the first elevator ride to the roof. But then… that man kind of saved me…

'No, Matthew! Stop thinking about someone you'll never see again! Don't get caught up in him! You were supposed to forget about him already…' my mind raged. I can't help that though. My thoughts act on impulse.

Yet still, I hopped into the shower and cleansed my body. All my accidental cuts and self-inflicted cuts were scattered everywhere. My mind continued to wander all over that man's face. So accentuated. His accent so rich and thick. His hair so blonde and in unruly waves… His pure blue eyes that seemed to endless… But I need to forget about him…

A half hour later, all my thoughts still jumbled around, I stepped out of the shower and walked to the kitchen. I sometimes cook my brother and I pancakes or the sort. So, pancakes and maple syrup in mind, I grabbed at the mix and began cooking.

Soon after, a young blonde clad in Captain America pajamas thudded down the stairs whilst scratching his stomach.

"Mornin' Matt," Alfred half-heartedly greeted me before plopping on the couch and surfing the channels.

"Good morning," I quietly answered back, though he didn't hear me so it was useless.

After my famous (well in this household at least) pancakes were done and we ate. Alfred retreated to his room to get dressed properly and I… well, I had already been dressed in some jeans, a normal tee, and my signature jacket.

Once Alfred was hopping down the stairs, book bag in hand, I stepped out of the house and ascended to the bus stop. Truth be told, my mind was else-where. A certain blonde kept crossing my mind at every subject spoken in there. It's not fair. Why did he have to save me? Of all people?

But soon the bus drove around the corner and stopped to pick us up, it's red lights flashing for the other cars to stop. And we were picked up to go to this hell hole of a school.

Of course, even on the bus my mind wouldn't cease to stop thinking about him. That accent though… it was French, correct? I know some French myself, with being Canadian and all, but that definitely sounded French. It sounded so beautiful… wait WHAT?!

"Matt… this is our stop. You comin'?" my brother asked as he poked my cheek. I sighed melodramatically and stood up, heading to the bus doors already.

As I entered the high school, my thoughts were still elsewhere. What is with me lately? He was just… god why can't I just stop thinking about him?

Just then, I bumped into someone. Of course, my lucky day. I fell down, like I always do, and muttered an "I'm sorry." A hand popped in front of my face, but I shook my head to say I didn't need one. I hopped up and walked around him, avoiding eye contact as I usually do.

"Hey, what do you say, Matt?" an all too familiar Russian voice sounded from behind me.

"What do you want, Ivan?" I asked, void of emotion. I didn't really like him at all… he kept belittling me in class and would mock me at every open chance.

"Oh," he started as he walked around to my front. "I was just going to ask if you thought he was, what's the word? Hot?"

I flushed slightly. "I-I didn't even look at him…" I admitted.

"Oh? Too embarrassed to? Don't worry." He quickly ran behind me and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to turn towards the direction I had just left. I really didn't like the feeling of Ivan behind me but all my fears erased as I looked at the man I just bumped into… twice. That man I met yesterday was no doubt standing where I just left, turned around chatting with a boy though.

"See? He's hot. Wouldn't you s-"

"Ivan, mess with a kid your own fucking size," a German accent commanded. Ivan left immediately, most likely out of fear for what the German might do.

"Thank you… Gilbert…" I awkwardly thanked. Last I remembered we had spoken was when Gilbert had confessed to me… great! Could this day get any worse?!

"Ah… well! No problem! I'd do anything for you!" He chuckled as I felt my face heat up. I glanced over at the blonde I had seen just yesterday. Big mistake! He was looking at me and we exchanged glances… now he knows I co-exist with him.

Well how could this get worse?!

**...**

_**well that wasnt so bad? for give if its terrible. i wrotes this at -checks the time- 3:39 AM so deal wif it! it wanst sooooo bad if you made it this far, oui? gah thanks you! anyways, please do review, fav, follow, anything! it keeps me updating! ;) if i dont get love, you dont get story :P**_

_**anyways i really hoped you liked and youll read future updates! this isnt over... but part of my rule is you give me love and ill love you!**_

_**PaNdA~**_


	2. Chapter 2

**oh LORD CHEEEZUZ ITS A FAHR! im soooooo sorry i havent updated. im not going to give a shitty excuse for my adsence other than drama. fucking drama. sorry! im so sorry. anywho, i think thisll be only about ten chapters long but thats SuBjEcT tO cHaNgE! so anyways...**

**in this chapter, i did some research and there were multiple possible names for cuba. i just chose my favourite. so Carlos is cuba!**

**DISCLAIM: i dont own... otherwise there would be hot smex every episode like in okane ga nai!  
>WARNING: this is rated t! this is boy x boyslash/yaoi/bl call it what you want. but this has mild cussing. not this particular chapter i dont think but the story as a whole... ^w^ EnJoY!**

**~PaNdA**

**...**

Well, it turns out, it could get worse. Really worse. Well, to me it could. It might not seem that bad to others, but the situation I'm in makes it worse.

After the whole ordeal with Gilbert and the blonde man I met yesterday, which wasn't a man, obviously, since he was in the student section, I headed to my first period classroom. Of course, I'm always first there every morning. So I sit down in my chair, a desk placed in the back corner of the classroom where there are no other people that sit. There aren't assigned seats in this particular class, seeing as its history and laid back. If the teacher made us sit in certain seats, everyone would probably riot, since we have enough rules as it is.

So as I sit there, I pull out my book and pretend to read, flipping and toying with the pages. It's not a particular book that piques my interest, but it'll keep my hands busy for the time being. I look over my book to the few kids that walk in before the bell. There's an English kid writing on the board and a girl from Seychelles rearranging the desks. One good thing about being virtually invisible, I don't really have to work.

So, I returned to my boring book. My eyes stayed down there until I heard a very loud voice in the class.

"Alfred! What're you doing here so early?!" an obnoxiously loud Cuban accent screamed. I looked up from my book to see what my brother had done to him yet again, but I saw a rude finger pointing accusingly at me. I trailed my vision up to the owner of the finger. Saw it coming…

"You're confused again, Carlos. It's me, Matthew, Alfred's brother…" I corrected him. The Cuban in front of me put down his finger and stared at me for a few seconds in confusion. Eventually, his face lit up in recognition.

"Oh, Matthew!" he exclaimed. "I remember you! Ah, sorry about accusing you for being Alfred. You two look so similar, I always get confused. He's just forgotten about how he owes me ten bucks!"

"Oh, no it's fi…ne…" I trailed off because a girl came over and tapped his shoulder, stealing his attention. They both left without a single glance back at me.

'God, why can't I have someone's attention for more than ten seconds? It's impossible…' I returned my focus to my boring book and flipped a page.

"Ahem…" a deep, throat based noise sounded next to me. I didn't look up, expecting the attention to be going elsewhere.

"Ahem…" it happened again. I still didn't look up because I'm used to people trying to get the focus of someone else. But, someone tapped my shoulder, and I knew they were trying to get my attention.

I looked up to my right and was met with a set of bright blue eyes.

"Bonjour! It's about time you listened to my attempts of getting you to look at me. Are you perhaps the boy I had seen yesterday?" he asked quite loudly if I might say. My face slightly heated as I tried to answer.

"I… eh…" I began quietly. The blonde sat down in the desk next to me. I noticed he still had the stubble from yesterday. "Yes," I finally said.

"Good! Good! I doubted I'd ever see you again!" I felt a blush creep onto my face, but I ignored it all the same.

"Um… Yes. Yet here we are, in school together. I half expected you to be too old for me, but you're in the same class as me." I mentally slapped myself for saying that. The male next to me had a growing smirk, I noticed. 'You're making it sound like you _want _him!' I shook my head at my thoughts, getting a confused glare from the male in front of me. "What's your name, eh?" I asked softly.

'Why would he save me though? I'm nothing really special. He doesn't even know me. I'm a stranger to him. What's it to him if a stranger dies? It doesn't really make sense…'

"…foi," the kid next to me finished. It didn't really sound like all he said, however.

"Excuse me? Could you repeat that?" I asked as politely as possible.

"My name is Francis Bonnefoi," he repeated as I asked. That does sound French. No doubt.

"Are you perhaps Fre-" I was interrupted by the bell. Now every student was in the room, save for a couple of absent people. I noticed Feliciano wasn't here yet. Neither was his brother. 'They were both in this period, weren't they?' Francis looked up at the ceiling, where the bell was, then back at me. He smiled kindly and resituated his body to be more comfortable in facing the front.

My heart fluttered for a short second at his smile, but I still turned my head to face the front.

Kids were loud and rowdy at this time in the morning, all trying to socialize before getting hushed by the teacher.

'The teacher is late, isn't she? I wonder when she'll get here… '

Just then, the door opened wide. I turned my head to see not what I was expecting. In came one of our counselors. She set out to the front of the classroom in a dazed mood; it almost seemed like she wasn't expecting this. Trust me, we weren't either. Or me at least…

She turned to us and, with an expression of distraught, told us that our teacher was in traffic so she would teach us that morning. I could tell that's not it though. You don't get all scared for a traffic jam.

"Turn your history books to page 206," she commanded in a shaky voice. A few groans were emitted from the throats of several students, but all the same we turned our textbook to the selected page. I spared a glance to Francis one last time, which I noticed he was sort of looking at me but I couldn't tell, before I turned my attention to the front board. By then, our temporary teacher/counselor had written the instructions to read a few pages and answer the questions on this page.

All throughout the forty five minutes we had in class, I kept stealing looks at Francis. However, when my eyes averted over there, he would be looking at me, and my face would brighten. I kept having this feeling of someone watching me, and I had no doubt it was Francis.

The bell finally sounded, and I gathered all my books. I began my ascend to the door behind the rest of the crowd.

"Uh… Mr. Williams!" the counselor stopped me. I looked behind me to the woman who called and began walking towards her. Of course, with my karma, Francis was with her. My ears felt hot all of a sudden. He looked at me fondly and smiled widely. But I could tell there was only, _only,_ a tiny spark of happiness in his eyes. "This here is Francis Bonnefoi. He's a new exchange student. The reason I didn't announce it in class was because he requested his presence to not be known. Anyway, would you consider taking him around school? You know, showing him where his classes were and how to get here and there?" She smiled slightly, obviously not very happy with this morning's events. Under her eyes were large bags, now that I'm close up to inspect. I bet she's been having a hard time sleeping lately. Poor thing…

"Sure, I'll do that. Come on, Francis. I'll show you to your second period, eh?" I grabbed his wrist, quickly wanting to get out of this room. It's not like I have something against her, it's just, we aren't on very good terms as of now. She knows something's wrong with me but I refuse to cave in and tell her, essentially a stranger. Yet I did yesterday with this boy I'm holding now… Wait, huh?

We were in the hall already; I almost hit a wall while I was thinking.

"I'm hoping that wall isn't my second period. Unless there's a secret portal I don't know about?" Francis chuckled quite loudly and my cheeks burned. Honestly… I retracted my hand from his arm, yet again, and peaked down the hallway.

"What is your next class on your schedule?" I asked the kid next to me. Oh, that reminds me… "As I was about to ask earlier, are you French?" I muttered softly.

"Oui, mon ami. I come from the City of Love, Paris," he answered in that thick accent. He intensely stared at a piece of paper before answering my other question. "My next class is science."

"That's the same as mine. Let's go before we're late, eh?" I headed off down the hall towards the science wing.

"So, your name is Matthew, oui?" I flushed slightly, but nodded all the same. I don't even know how he knows my name...

So, this wasn't as bad as I made it out to be, but I kept blushing when I look at him. Thus, I get embarrassed, and then my face burns into an even darker shade of red. Well off to science! With the boy that essentially saved me yesterday… of course… God, kill me before this day is over...

**...**

**well if youre here, it obviously didnt make you hurl and not wanna read... that wasnt sooooo bad! for give if its not that good quality. i am fourteen so i gotz a mom that likes looking over my shoulder and reading what im writing... anyways! i hope you enjoyed!**

_**HoWeVeR! my rule still holds! you gotta gimme love guys! you just gotta! so if i get zero love, you get zero story. and how, you may ask, can i give you love? BY REVIEWS OF COURSE! did you know that even if you have no account, you can still review? i expect words from EvErY oNe Of YoU! even if its just "good story" i expect it! ANNY THING HELPS MY MOTIVATIONS MOFOS!**_

**PaNdA oUt!**


	3. Chapter 3

**well this didnt totally take FOREVER! OH MY GODZILLA! so anywho~ ill make this short for you**

**DISCLAIM! i dont own hetalia... all rights go to himaruya hide- i dont remember... PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT! **

**WaRnInG! this particular chapter has a few curse words so if you dont like, dont read. this particular chapter was also written when i was depressed and in a suicidal mood so its pretty spacey in many places. please keep that in mind when you read... also boyxboy yaoi slash whatev... beware~**

**...**

Well, I survived science… Is that good? I can't really tell at this point. I've had to show Francis around all day long and now its lunch time. I'm starved! Going five whole periods without food is further punishment for being at school.

"And here we arrived at the cafeteria," I announced when we entered the cafeteria doors. "The lines over there," I pointed to the straight, more like the opposite, array of people piling out of a door. "And over there," my finger moved to a ton of strategically placed tables and chairs, "is where we eat the food we get. Come on, let's get in line, eh?"

We both moved forth to the line, or crowd, of people. 'Today, I've talked a lot. My throat's feeling it too. It feels raspy when I talk now. I looked over to the Frenchman next to me. He was looking out of glass door in the cafeteria, for once, instead of looking at me. This time, I could examine him without getting thoroughly embarrassed. He has a much accentuated jaw-line, I noticed. His hair is extremely unruly. It goes every which direction. I wonder why he had to move here. Did something happen? I believe so. Every time we exchange a glance I see barely any happiness, even though he smiles.'

It's only then that I noticed Francis was staring at me with a smirk across his lips.

"Can't get enough of me, mon cher?" he quizzed, making my face flush to a bright pink.

"U-uh! it… It's n-not like that…" I stuttered. 'Why can't I just talk properly? God! He just called me darling. I'd say it's a French thing, but I know better…'

"Oh? You've been looking at me for the past thirty whole seconds. Is there an explanation for that, mon ami?" he continued to embarrass me further.

"I was… lost in thought… I guess… I'm sorry… I wasn't meaning to stare…" I trailed off, not wanting to dig my hole even further. 'I'm an idiot… a dumb-ass… why do I keep on, again? I didn't realize that I was going to see him, and I definitely didn't think I was going to be like a school girl…'

Suddenly, I felt an arm wrapped around my shoulders. I looked up to Francis, who was the owner of such arm. This time, I felt my ears heat up. I'm so helpless in this situation…

"It's completely fine to stare at me, mon ami." Francis chuckled lowly, the sound emitting strictly from his throat. By now, my entire face must've been red. Not pink anymore, red. Seriously, these pet names were getting to me…

"I… wasn't meaning to stare. Oh, look! Th-the line's moving up… Let's go, eh?" ugh, I can't believe myself! Seriously… Why do I keep stuttering and blushing?

We moved forward a bit, only a few feet closer to the food. We were the last to enter the cafeteria, so I wouldn't be surprised. Suddenly, I felt some movement next to me.

"Mon cher… I'm afraid your face is as red as a rose," Francis muttered straight into my ear. The notion sent shudders through my body, straight down to my…

'SHUT IT, MATTHEW!' my mind yelled. My ears and neck heated up. 'Come on, go down, GO DOWN!' my thoughts raged. I clasped my hands together, instinctively placing both hands upon my slight erection.

"What's wrong, mon cher?" Francis asked, this time not right into my ear. Francis sounded genuinely concerned, although it seemed as though he knew exactly what was occurring. I looked to my right, the side he was standing beside, and up at him. He was looming over me, almost overwhelming me. His smile was wide and bright, I could almost see his teeth sparkling in the light. I furiously blushed and quickly looked down.

"E-excuse me…" I pardoned myself and hurried myself to the restrooms, not even sparing a glance back to the Frenchman.

I hustled myself down the hallways as fast as my legs could walk. The men's bathroom was finally in my eyesight. As I made my way to the door, I could feel my… member… throb slightly as my mind ran through the recent events.

So, as I finally made it in through the bathroom door, I turned around and locked the door. Just to be safe… I leaned my back against a stall and sighed loudly, running my right hand through my hair.

"What do we have here?"

A shiver ran through my spine in fright. In the corner of the room was a familiar Russian voice.

"Wha-what do you want… Ivan?" I stuttered slowly in a whisper. In pure fright.

"Da~" he mused and a creepy spark entered his pupils as he ran at me, hands out to reach me. My body immediately went into overdrive and jumped out of the way towards the door but…

He reached me. His hands wrapped around my neck in a death grip. He pulled me up into the air, my feet weren't touching the ground anymore. My body was now against a wall next to the door. I reached my hand to the handle but his grip tightened.

"People like you don't deserve to exist!" he screamed in his thick Russian voice. My eyes widened in fear, body went limp in his hold. I no longer had any oxygen going into my throat to my lungs. I opened my lips to breathe through my mouth to no avail. Nothing went into my body.

"Ivan… please…" I whimpered in a raspy gasp. His smile just widened though.

"Kolkolkolkolkol…" he laughed in his own twisted mechanical way. It shook through the room and vibrated my weak body. His fingers tightened on my neck. I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer and shut them. I could feel my body start to shut down due to zero oxygen. Feet and legs were now numb. I couldn't keep up any more.

But suddenly I heard a voice, German perhaps, coming through the door.

"IVAN! LET GO OF HIM NOW BEFORE I FUCKING BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!"

My ears twitched when I heard wood splintering. The floor hit my feet. And I was out like a light.

**...**

**sorry its so short... it was either this part or another thousand words... and this is actually a good place! so there. happy? let's get on with the script. -ahem-**

_**LiKe I dO eVeRy A/n FrOm HeRe On OuT, yOu StIlL nEeD tO gIvE mE lOvE! that took a while to type ^^ but seriously... you should know the drill. love me or dont, i dont care! the only thing thats bad for you is YOU GET NO STORY IF YOU DONT LOVE MEHH!**_

**with out further ado... UNTIL NEXT TIME!**

**~PaNdA**


	4. Chapter 4

**and here we are again! this chapter took me a significantly longer time to write but i got it done! at least~ this story is told in a different character'****s point of view! hopefully youll notice who~ (its Francis)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, sadly, Hetalia. all if it's rights to to himaruya hadikez? (I CANT SPELL)**

**WARNING! Yaoi, lovey-dovey crap, yummy stuff~ enjoy~**

**...**

As I stood here in this cafeteria line, my heart and mind kept urging me to think that something was wrong. I looked around the room full of students around my age and stepped into the separate room full of food. The menu wasn't really as cuisine as my home country, but it was better than nothing, _oui_? Grabbing a Styrofoam plate on a tray placed at the entrance, I reached out for an Américain hamburger set out on display for us kids to grab. Since I was the last in the line, _where is that Matthieu_, I didn't have to worry much about angry kids behind me for being so slow. I haven't been here long, but I've been here long enough to know that Américains are rather rude to each other.

So, as I exited the lunch line with my tray of food, I looked around the large room for a place to sit. My eyes grazed over an empty seat in the far end of the café, so I began my stride towards the spot. That is, until a grim looking man rushed out in front of me and stopped me. He was in a green sort of shirt. A logo on the breast pocket revealed that he came from a hospital called ETMC.

"Stay back," his deep voice warned. Before I could pester about it, however, a few more grim looking men, and a woman, passed in front of me, a gurney in stroll behind them. My eyes widened slightly.

"What is going on?" I wondered out loud to someone. The initial man that stopped me answered.

"A kid in the bathroom was almost suffocated to death. We came to help."

My heart thumped through my body with much force. Eyes wide and jaw dropped, I followed the men, and woman, as they left the scene. I set my tray of food down on a random table filled with people, who were rather happy to have extra food, and continued my pace after the ETMC workers. However, a boy from the table grabbed my arm and halted me.

"Yo, what's going on, dude?" he asked me. His blonde hair was parted on one side, bangs hovering over his left, my right, eyebrow. He had glasses that were steadily falling down his nose, and which obscured such sparkly blue eyes. A stray clump of hair was sticking straight out of his part. For some reason, this person reminded me slightly of Matthieu.

"_Je ne sais pas_, I don't know. I was going to, erm… Investigate what is happening," I answered honestly. _Why lie, right_?

"Wait," the Américain looked around the café and widened his eyes. A finger pushed up his glasses as he looked back towards me. "Where's Matt?!" he bellowed and ran after the paramedics.

_Is he talking about Matthieu? Mon dieu…_

And I raced after them too, in fear for the safety of the boy that helped me as much as I probably helped him.

The emergency workers lead us to one of the bathrooms I haven't yet visited in this school. I saw, from my peripheral vision, the boy from the cafeteria's eyes widen even further and he leaned in to get a better look. On instinct, I leaned too and saw something horrid. A door, broken in half, laid in the doorway, and an albino hovered over Matthieu, who was cradled in his arms. I don't know why, but my heart ached at the site. I didn't want another male next to mon Matthieu, especially in such a loving fashion. I don't think anyone else noticed another male with a scarf wrapped around his neck walking away. I didn't really think much of it, at the moment I was concerned for the weakling on the floor.

"Come on, sir. We need to get him checked out," a man prodded at the albino. The one in question looked up with tear streaked eyes. He did as asked, however. The white haired student stood up and walked away from the blonde on the floor. Only now did I see the purple finger marks around his neck. Two of the four paramedics there went up to pick up the small body lying on the ground. The other two pushed a gurney towards Matthieu and they laid the unconscious man on the bed on wheels.

As they wheeled him away from the bathroom, the albino freaked out. He rushed out of the confined space and tore down the hallway to Matthieu's side. The other blonde that came from the cafeteria was still in shock. He glanced over to me before turning to me full on.

"That was Matt… right?" he asked timidly, as if second guessing himself. I gave a sharp nod and he suddenly raced off and away, but in the opposite direction to where Matthieu went.

"_Mon ami_, Where are you headed?" I yelled down the hallway. I ran towards him and away from the broken bathroom door.

"Gil won't be able to get in the ambulance, I know that. So they probably won't let me in to be fair," he answered as I came near. The boy stopped his steps and looked me dead in the eye. "Do you have a car, bro? I need to be able to see my little brother in the hospital."

That's when it all began to make sense. The albino was Gilbert, I'd heard of him from Matthieu. The blonde was Matthieu's brother, Alfred. It all made sense now. But who would do such a thing?

"_Oui_, I do. But do you mind giving me some directions to the hospital? I am sort of new to this town," I muttered as my reply. We finally reached the doors to the outside. The Américain looked over to me before we exited the doors.

"Dude, of course I will! I've seen you around here with my brother lately, so I kinda know you. I'm Alfred! Nice to meet you!" Alfred held out his hand and smiled widely. I reached my own hand out and firmly grasped his in a shake. We stayed there for a few moments while Alfred stared straight into me. It became very uncomfortable to say the least.

"Now let's go get Matthieu," I stopped the awkward silence that came upon us. Both of us detached the other and we head out into the broad daylight. I strayed across the parking lot to my car on the other side. We eventually reached my temporary rental car and hopped into it.

"Okay! So which way do we go?" I asked.

"That way," Alfred pointed to a general direction and locked down his seat belt. I noticed that his hands were shaking.

And thus, I put the vehicle into gear and drove down the road with only ambulance sirens to accompany the silence.

**...**

**man... that was sad :( NOT OVER YET! there is happiness soon! never fear~ well lets get on with it...**

**GiMmE lOvE oR yOu DoNt GeT aNy StOrY! im not joking~ even people with no ff account can review~ it wont take but 2 minutes! do iet for meeee **

**Je t'aime au croquer~ **

**XD paris is splendid indeed~ **

**PaNdA, OUT**


	5. Chapter 5

**here is the utterly awaited chapter! im joking, you guys want the next chapter XD im evil, arent i? this is more of a filler chapter but its still crucially important to the plot line im kinda shooting for!**

**WARNING: This might be painful for some readers to read as it may be personal. i recommend reading when youre not in a very sad mood~ **

**Disclaim: This does not belong to me except for my ideas~ i dont own hetalia at all**

**Well that was backwards...**

**...**

"Ah, we have arrived at the hospital, Alfred," I mumbled under my breath as I drove into the 'Visitor Parking' area. When he didn't answer back, I glanced over to my right at the boy in the seat. He was staring out at the window, however, and didn't notice me looking towards him.

I stopped the car in one of the open parking spaces and unbuckled my belt that keeps me in the seat.

"_Allons-y_; let us go, Alfred," I mumbled to the blonde to my right. His ear twitched slightly before he unclasped his own belt and opened the door. Before long, we were both in the hospital, talking to the desk woman.

"Please, we have to see my brother Matt!" Alfred half yelled at the lady. Her expression seemed exasperated, yet I still felt bad for the woman.

"I'm sorry, sir. I can't let you in right this moment. Maybe if you could hold your hors-"

"HOW CAN I HOLD MY HORSES WHEN MY LITTLE BROTHER COULD BE DYING?!" Alfred now screamed at the desk lady. The lady looked at him with a butt-hurt expression for a few long moments before she opened her mouth to speak.

"What is your brother's name," she asked in a slow and steady, almost forced, voice.

"Matthieu," I piped up, feeling left out. This woman looked up at me in expectance for the rest. "Matthieu Williams."

She typed on the keyboard with her long fingers a few times. An elbow laid on the desk as her head settled into her palm, her eyes flickering across the screen. A few more types, a couple mouse clicks…

"Room 310," she mumbled in a quiet voice. Alfred shot up and ran across the room towards an elevator.

"_Alfred, attendre , s'il tu plait!_" I yelled across the room, forgetting English momentarily as I sprinted after him. The elevator doors spread open with a ding as soon as I arrived next to Alfred, who was jittery with anxiousness. We both stepped in to the metal box and I clicked floor three, since the room was in the three hundreds.

Eventually, the elevator reached our desired floor and opened its doors with another ding. Alfred rushed out immediately. I, on the other hand, was much calmer about it, walking out with fake confidence. Alfred presumably found the room because he suddenly halted his sprint and began to stare at a door. He knocked upon the wood and waited as I sauntered over to his side. As I stood next to the Américain, the door flew open and out came a tall, robust man in a white coat.

"Are you two here to visit Matthew?" a deep voice asked. I glanced upon his name tag.

"Yes!" Alfred screamed at _Ludwig's_ face. The latter looked taken aback but stepped aside anyway.

"Elizaveta did say two blonde men were heading up here to visit. He's stable at the moment, but still unconscious." Ludwig muttered with a slight blush as Alfred rushed past him. "I'll leave you two some privacy." He left the area and walked down the hallway until he turned a corner.

I turned around to peer inside the room. Inside, I did not like what I saw. My entire body locked up with memories of when I saw my first love in this same state. Heart wrenching thoughts flooded through my mind and welled up in my eyes. Unwillingly, my feet began moving to mon Matthieu's bedside.

My breath hitched as Matthieu deeply breathed. His throat was a dark shade of violet. His mostly bare stomach held a pure white bandage with a few uncovered bruises above it. My own eyes flickered across his entire body. Only his legs were covered with trousers. I audibly heard Alfred gasp and I looked up at his shocked face.

"Quoi?" I asked. "What is it, Alfred?"

A hand flew to cover his dropped jaw as another hand shakily held a finger up. I followed the direction of the point that fell to Matthieu's arm. _What? Why? Matthieu?_

**_..._**

**_well that WAS pretty short, was it not? sorry i didnt think it was that short... ehehehehehhh~ man this was really weird and sad and all over the place~ hope you didnt mind! _**

**_PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE give me some lovin' you just gotta! i mean... id prefer if you did. ive sorta given up on asking for reviews and now im just writing for the very few of you that actually want to read... _**

**_Ich liebe dich~_**

**_PaNdA_**


	6. Chapter 6

**well... um... DONT KILL ME PLEASE! wow these A/Ns have gotten shorter... huh**

**DISCLAIMER! me, not own. nevaaa**

**WARNING! so theres yaoi, some heated stuff... yeah!**

**...**

I just could not believe it. Matthieu would do such a thing to his own body. As soon as I saw all of that I just… I could not handle it. It was everywhere. On his legs, his hips, his thighs, his shoulders… Knowing that someone as sweet as mon Matthieu would do such a thing, and for such a reason too! Of course, when we first met, he was about to commit suicide so it should not be that shocking but… seeing it as true and concrete just brought me great pain. As I thought it through now, I feel even worse.

_"I knew Matt was depressed but… not to this point," Alfred mumbled after we both shared our own shock. _

_"Why would mon cher be depressed?" I pushed the Américain, wanting some answers. _

_"He gets bullied a lot; that's most likely why he's here right now." _Not really what I wanted, _I thought. _

_"Yes, but why does he get bullied?" I continued interrogating. _

_"He's gay." Alfred stated, then, as if he was not supposed to say anything, covered his mouth with exaggeration. _

_"He is… what?" I asked with a shocked expression. _

_"Nothing nothing!" the Américain yelled loudly. He chuckled nervously while I stared straight at his lying face. _

_"_Alfred_, tell me what you said." I crossed my arms to emphasize my stern sentence. _

_"It's none of your business! It's Matt's, not mine!" Alfred's eyes were closed and his face was pink. _

_"W-well I am, ah what is the term… bisexual?" I confessed. I could tell my own cheeks were dusted pink but I still stood proud and looked at Alfred as he opened his eyes to stare at me. _

_"I knew there was something different about you."_

That summed that up. First, I found out mon Matthieu was gay, then I confessed my preference in gender to someone I hardly knew. But… just knowing that Matthieu… cut… because he was bullied for being gay changes everything I ever thought about Américains. In France, people won't be ridiculed just for loving someone. L'amour is l'amour. Everyone should be free to love who they desire and not be despised.

By now, Alfred has left me alone to watch over Matthieu. Seeing the frail boy made my heart thud in my chest. He may not be loud like most people here but he is at least lively. He was not moving at all. My eyes began to stare at the heart monitor connected to the boy.

_Bum bum…bum bum…bum bum…bum…bum…_

A loud alarm screeched in the room and I stood up in fright. There was a flat, green line across the heart monitor. My own beating heart accelerated as I was frightened for Matthieu.

Three doctors dressed in white clothing suddenly busted into the room and rushed to Matthieu's bedside. One of them held a handle with metal plating in each hand. Each other doctor was yelling. There was a high pitch sound across the room. The doctor rubbed the metal together and placed one on each side of his chest. Then there was thud of Matthieu's body jumping.

The same metal made a high pitch. They were placed on his chest.

Another thud.

More yelling.

"One more!" someone screamed.

"200!" another called.

That same high pitch and rubbing. Again, the devices were both placed on each side of Matthieu's chest.

A thump. Quiet as first, then it reigned across the room. The heart monitor no longer had a straight green line and instead had a staggered heartbeat.

"He's still alive," someone stated.

I was staring at the blonde laying on the bed. Was he just dead? What exactly just happened? I couldn't live if he died.

My head felt lightheaded and the room started spinning.

"Sir?" a doctor approached me.

"Sir?" they repeated.

"I am ok," I croaked.

"Maybe it's best for you to leave and go home," someone suggested.

"Non!" I exclaimed as I sat down and calm my nerves.

"Do you wish for a bed to sleep the night?" a different doctor asked.

Slowly, I nodded my head. As long as I could stay next to mon cher's side, I would feel at ease. Especially after that recent episode, I did not want to leave. What if it happened again?

"_S'il vous plait_," I answered.

"_Alors nous avons un lit pour vous de dormir à côté de votre ami_. _(A/N: Then we will get a bed for you to sleep next to your friend)" _A doctor shockingly replied in my native tongue. I looked up at who said that and saw a beautiful blonde woman looking at me with a smile. "_Parlez-vous français, non_? _(A/N: You speak French, right?)"_

"_Oui_," I replied, glad that someone speaks my language. "_Merci._"

Then everyone vacated the room; it was just me and Matthieu.

Eventually, that same French-speaker came by with an extra bed and I laid down upon it. Minutes, or hours even, passed with me just staring to the side. To Matthieu's face. His body. I sat up and hovered over the other's bed.

_He is very beautiful, _I thought. _His hair is wavy. His skin looks so soft and pale. _Upon my thoughts, I acted to them and decided to feel his cheek. _It is soft… so soft. His lashes are so dark compared to his honey blonde hair. Even his nose is so tiny. And his lips look so plump and pink. They almost wish to be kissed. _I stopped thinking rational thoughts. _This boy underneath me is so handsome, yet so fragile._ It was then that I realized how close my face was to his.

Suddenly, I saw violet eyes as opposed to closed lids.

Suddenly, I felt an impulse in my body.

Suddenly, lips were pushed against lips.

My lids fell as I decided to deepen this beautiful kiss. _I was right, they are plump,_ I mused. My own tongue pressed on Matthieu's bottom lip to silently ask for an entrance. I peeked open one of my eyes to look at the male beneath me. His cheeks were completely red and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut. I felt him spread his lips apart slightly with hesitation. Taking this as an invitation, I prodded my tongue into his mouth and felt around the territory. Then, our muscles touched. It was like a spark across my body. I had to release some tension… right then.

I hopped upon the bed, our lips not disconnecting once. My legs rested on each side of his body, eventually deciding on a straddling position. Our tongue touched once again and a heat wave hit my body. Then the heat settled in my lower abdomen.

A loud moan caught my attention; I knew I had gone too far. Reluctantly, I broke apart our seal and looked down at the beet red boy. A few droplets of sweat had decourated his forehead.

"Fr… Francis…" he gasped out. Then, I had the honour of seeing his beautiful, violet orbs. They sparkled so brightly and I couldn't help but smile at the look. "That…" he began. His tone made me pay attention even more. "Th-that was my…" he glanced away with a bright blush. "My first kiss…"

**...**

**DONT KILL ME YET I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! not really. heh! **

**plez plez plez at least spred the word out to your friends that like franada?**

**~PaNdA SIGNING OFF**


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